So many people put so much of their energy into caring what others do in their personal lives. And my simple question is: Why do you care?

• Why do you care what gender someone identifies as?
• Why do you care what bathroom they use?
• Why do you care what clothes they wear?
• Why do you care what medical procedures they have or not have?

These are honest questions, even before I realized I was trans, I never understood why so many people care about these things. Growing up I never cared who else was in the bathroom, just that they were not making a mess or being rude. I don’t look at someone and immediately think what is the gender and does it match their birth sex. I just don’t care. Why can’t you just let people be, or is your own identity that fragile. Are you scared of having to figure out your own gender? Are you questioning your own identity and what matters? And if so, good job, you should do that. Not just blindly accepting your gender and identify is good.

And that was the best part of accepting I am trans and non-binary. I don’t feel a need or desire to blend in and do things that don’t bring me joy. I am happy with who I am. I enjoy my day to day life now, and you know what, my choices in this do not affect you or anyone else. So I am asking, why do you care?

My life is my own to live. I write code, do research, take photos, and ride my bike. And none of those things changed once I started transitioning. And it didn’t change who I was fundamentally as a person. My morals and ethics, are still largely the same. My likes and dislikes are largely the same. The only thing that changed is that a dress a little more feminine, and starting taking hormones, and will eventually get some surgeries. But non of those things matter in my day to day life, with my friends, family, and coworkers. I told them, and they accepted me. So I ask why can’t strangers who don’t know anything about me, put so much energy into hate. If I don’t tell you I am trans, you likely can’t tell.

So I ask

Why do you care?

And if you can’t answer that question, I urge you to think critically about your views. And if you can answer that question, why can’t you just let people live their own life.